Discerning/Prophetic Words?
May 5, 2008
God has laid a family on my heart for the past two weeks. I was given specific information that I was to give the mom regarding a decision that she is facing. I wasn’t given all of the details surrounding her situation. I could be way off and she may not even be in the midst of a decision……and yet I keep getting this push that I am to speak to her. I’ve been avoiding her for 2 weeks because I didn’t know what to make of all this.
Firstly, I don’t know what the decision is even about. I am a planner….I prefer to have ALL the details before I venture into any new territory. Secondly, I am quite certain that she will look at me like I have lost my mind if I speak into her situation and have not been given information by herself that would make me even aware of it in the first place. (I’m thinking divine revelation will not go over well in most circles…..but maybe that’s just me.)
Lately, conversations with God have gone something like this, “Why haven’t you called her?” But Lord, I’ve been busy with school and everything, and well…..you know….stuff! “But you need to tell her.” Lord, this is crazy. Nobody gets messages like this, how would I even tell her? I don’t even know if she is in the middle of a decision. What if she laughs, doesn’t know what I’m talking about, and thinks I’m touched?!……what if I am touched? “Trust me…..She needs to hear this.” Ummm, not trying to be difficult, but why me? You are so much bigger than all this, why not just send the cavalry or flaming bushes or something? “Because I’ve told you to do it…… this is to teach you, as well.” Lord, I wanted the gift of music….remember? I wanted to sing like an angel, just like my sister or play the harp brilliantly to bless all the people in the nursing home. I don’t think I’m the right one for this type of thing. “But you’re the one I’ve chosen, I’ll give you the words and openings, just be willing to trust me and speak them.”
You get the idea. This has been happening more and more frequently to me, about more than just this one person. I meet a person. I may or may not know them well, and all of the sudden I have this overwhelming push to speak to them about something. Sometimes, I don’t even know what the something is that I am speaking about. I was not raised charismatic, and while I do believe that all the spiritual gifts are still in use (none were “only” for Old Testament times and discontinued), I’m SO not comfortable in this sphere of ministry.
I’ve spent lots of time taking apart the “message” test its origins. (1John 4:1-3)
1. Is it Biblical- it does not change or twist Scriptures and it does not contradict the Bible (2Tim.3:16-17)
2. Is it Loving- it is not condemnation, it is an encouragement to stop 2nd guessing (operating in fear) her leading from God and return to the 1st decision that was made during her time of Scripture/Prayer (1Cor.13:2)
3. Do I have a personal motive- (Deu.18:20) there is nothing for me to gain from this revelation to her, however I risk her thinking I am nuts or being freaked out that I know things that she hasn’t discussed with anyone….that could be very awkward. Also, the nature of what I’ve been given to pass on to her did not come with all the details to satisfy my curiosity. It is very specific to her and her situation, and it won’t be an amazing shock and awe type of revelation, since I have only been given what she is to hear without understanding what it means. Only that it will mean something to her and then she can decide what to do with it.
4. What is the focus- she is to go back to God and the Scriptures and Prayers she made the 1st decision in, and proceed according to what God had spoken into her heart at that time. (Rev.19:10)
For those that minister in this realm, how does one deliver such a message? I’m sure this is God’s prompting, but I don’t feel comfortable telling someone that God sent me a message for them. I’m still not sure why God would work in this way instead of going to the person Himself. I have so many shortcomings as a wife, mother, and Christian. Won’t my weight issues, lack of patience, or sarcastic tendencies have a negative impact on my witness/credibility? Who am I to tell someone what they should do, when I have so many of my own struggles unresolved? Do I really want to deal with the responsibilities and warnings that go with this type of gift? Am I horrible to even say that out loud!?
*************Updated June 6, 2008 (James 1:5)
I prayed that if God really wanted me to speak to this person, He would lead the way. She was conveniently not at several of the functions that I figured I would see her at. I avoided inviting her over because I did not want it to be a meeting I “made to happen” and I was secretly hoping God would change His mind (and let me out of it).
Then she showed up at a function. I felt strongly that I was supposed to speak to her, but was warring with myself because this is not what conservative almost-baptist-types do. The push was unmistakable. Still dragging my feet, I told God he had to set it up because there were children everywhere and the room was loud and full of people. She flagged me over to visit and I noted that she was sitting next to a known gossip. “Lord, I can’t do this here, she has to be alone!” I whispered to God, pleased to be let off the hook, yet again.
A little boy was injured and I left to get band aids for him because it would get me off the hook, er I mean it would be the good “event host” thing to do. When I returned, someone had given the person I was to talk to a brochure to look at, she had gone off into a corner by herself to read it. God has a sense of humor, this I know. I went over to chat with her. My mind was frantically sending up prayers the whole time, “What do I say? How do I say it!? Lord the words have to be yours, because I can’t do this! Did I mention I wanted the gift of MUSIC!?” The Lord took over at this point and out came the words. I held my breath and waited for the worst while noting that a huge burden had been lifted off me now that it was out. She burst into tears. “Ummm Lord, is this what was supposed to happen!?” When she recovered herself, she told me several things that indicated she knew exactly what I was speaking about. We talked for about an hour with her alternating between crying and talking. My mind was reeling and I wondered stupidly where the words were coming from. Words of comfort, words of encouragement, Scripture…… words that I knew for a fact were not just bouncing randomly around my head.
I felt awed and scared out of my mind. I had the privilege of watching God work from a front row seat, it was overwhelming and humbling. As the events unfolded she asked me point blank if she had mentioned any of this to me previously, because she didn’t usually discuss this with anyone, and didn’t recall telling me. Praying she wouldn’t think I was a little-voices-in-the-head-type of person, I told her the truth. God had laid her on my heart and had been telling me to talk to her, but I had been in sin and running the other direction. I apologized for avoiding her since it was obvious this was something she had been struggling with for awhile. I assured her that I did not know anymore than I had discussed with her and that I didn’t even understand how her message applied. I was just given a very specific statement and it was between she and God, what it meant to her. I did not need specifics about her situation. It was enough that it meant something to her and she understood.
I offered to continue to pray for her and she asked me to pray for a couple specific requests. Thanked me repeatedly and we parted ways with a sisterly hug. Wow. After weeks of feeling guilty and worrying about it, I finally have a sense of peace. I could have saved myself a lot of sleepless nights if I had just obeyed sooner, but sometimes it takes a ton of bricks for me to get with the program. The fact that it meant something to her helped to confirm it, also. I still don’t know what I think of all this. It’s going to take a bit to digest and see what happens next.
