Monthly Archives: July 2007

“Weight issues” it sounds ominous. It needs to sound more interesting so that I don’t get bored and give up (again). Odyssey….I like that word, it sounds like an adventure or an extended quest for something wonderful. Quest is a cool word too. Hmm.

I am undertaking a QUEST TO FIND MY FEET! My current medication was working quite well for the first month and a half. “WAS” is the key word here, people. Once my body adjusted to the medication, it stopped working and I started gaining again. The doctor checked all the info and upped the dosage. We were back in business, HOORAY! That lasted all of two weeks, then I started coming down with mild flu and sinus symptoms. (Dull headache all day, by 3pm I would be light sensitive and it would reach migraine status behind my eyes and forehead. Aching joints and an overall feeling of Yuck-i-tude followed.) I spent a week thinking I was on the verge of getting some nasty bug. Exhausted and out of my mind, I downed a half dose of Nyquil. BIG.MISTAKE!

For those of you not familiar with my reaction to medications, let me explain….. A child’s dose of Nyquil makes me sleep LIKE THE DEAD within about 20 minutes, it TOTALLY knocks out any sickie symptoms……BUT, it doesn’t wear off in the prescribed 6 hours….. EVER. An adult dose?……well, let’s just say, I could probably be convinced to table dance…… if I weren’t feeling so flushed and unable to get a ridiculous grin off my face. I’ve never been drunk, but I assume it would be a similar sensation on a grander scale. Yes, folks, I can’t handle my Nyquil. I only use it, if the alternative is “death by sleep deprivation,” and even then, only under adult supervision. (With an adult that won’t tattoo me with a sharpie pen or move me into the front yard sprinklers while I am sleeping like the dead. )

Anyhow, being sick all week was taking its toll, and I just needed to get ONE NIGHT of rest. Well, the diet meds reacted with the Nyquil and within a half hour I was NOT LOVING the effects. The good news is that it got me out of the dental appointment that I’ve been dreading. The bad news is that the diet meds were causing the headaches, dizziness, and over all yuck-i-tude. I’m all for losing the weight, but being able to function normally, for all the hours that I’m awake is rather important to me. We’re going to have to have the “now what” conversation with the diet doctor. Sigh. I was really hoping this would work this time.

I’ve got medical appointments almost every day this week. One to check my blood work for the thyroid, one for the diet follow up, and one for a vision screening to make sure the headaches weren’t a result of a severely outdated lens prescription. Fun week ahead of being poked and prodded like a giant mutant lab rat.

On another happy note, I DID fit into my Symphony Suit this weekend! (I bought it to go to the Symphony, over two years ago when we lived near baby sitters and relatives…..ah the memories! ) I wore the pants suit to church and was able to button AND sit! WOO HOO!

It’s that time of year again. The time when hours (ok, maybe it’s actually days or weeks) are spent pouring over curriculum magazines and web sites. The excitement of starting fresh, implementing new things, and the desire to improve my teaching skills is almost overwhelming. I AGONIZE over course choices. (Will it be too easy? Too hard? Will it lose something if modified for 3 different age levels? Oh, my….I didn’t even understand that kind of math when I was in school…..how can I teach THAT!? Should we do co-op or karate? Do we have the children involved in too many things or too little?)

Added to this, are the voices of all the “helpful” I’ve encountered along the way. “You can’t teach them…you never finished college!” “It doesn’t seem healthy to loose your identity and then hide behind the children as an excuse.” “You really shouldn’t shelter the children, they won’t be able to function in the real world, later!” “It’s not healthy for a child to be smothered by his parents all day.” “You really should consider using your talents in the work place instead of wasting the abilities, that God gave you, at home.”

By the time the back packs and school supply circulars are making their rounds, my panic and self doubt have usually reached a frenzied crescendo. (This is a yearly occurrence for me.) I waiver, listening to the throng of past and present voices telling me that this may be the year that I categorically RUIN my children forever. I begin to stumble. I cry out desperately, “Lord, are you SURE this is the course you want us to chart? It seems so overwhelming, what if we can’t provide all the opportunities that they need? What if I overlook something important?” Mind you, this isn’t a sweet questioning prayer that is rhetorical….. it’s more of a desperate plea for proof……a burning bush or a dry sheep skin of clarification……. that this is STILL how He wants us to go. I realize the futility of my efforts and worry and sit dejectedly……quietly……knowing that if I can quiet the voices long enough, God will make His presence and will known. Panic barely checked, I wait.

Then the Voice of Reason begins to call softly. Verses begin to wash over me. I am SUCH a contradiction! As the Scriptures come, I analyze each one to determine if I am interpreting it through my own selfish motives or if this is truly my answer from God. I feel compelled to remind God of all my fears and short comings (and my tendencies to argue with Him)…..Do you see the contradiction here!? “Lord HELP! But wait…..first let me list all the reasons why I think YOUR plan isn’t going to work out so well!” His patience with me is humbling. The gentle reminders continue, the promises and Scriptures are whispered into my heart at strange hours of the night.

Doubts begin to ebb. I am reminded once again, that it isn’t the perfect curriculum or my inabilities that ensure success or failure, it is a willingness to act with obedience BEFORE I feel qualified to face another year. This is what keeps me running back to the Father with all the little details throughout the year. To start the day with the prayer of “Your words Father, not mine……speak to their minds. Capture their hearts. Put before us today, only what YOU find worthy of our time.” We settle in for another year. Not the uber-scheduled 4 year plan that I had jotted out during one of my more frenzied moments……But to an amazing school year that will seek to bring little hearts to a better understanding of their Father and prepare them for His purposes, just a little more each day.

Be still, and know that I am God. (Psalm 46:10a)

This weekend was very busy and somehow it overflowed its business into my week! On Friday Hubby and I (and the Gremlin) went out to a very fancy steak and seafood place to celebrate our 16th wedding anniversary. Wow, that’ll make you feel old…….I met him when I was sixteen….dated for four years……..and now we’ve been married for 16 years! After dinner we came back and packed for our trip to to meet grandma to gather our other two children.

We overslept on Saturday and got a bit of a later start than we hoped. After 9 hours of driving, we arrived in Nashville (the 1/2 way point between us and g’ma) just a little after they did. We loved on the kids, then piled in the car to grab some dinner at a yummy little Mexican place. After dinner we enjoyed visiting with g’ma and Hubby’s sister before everyone sacked out.

Sunday was spent driving the nine hours back home, but to have all our littles back and the nest full was WONDERFUL.

Now we are trying to get laundry, yard work, and grocery shopping done. Sometime this week, I need to get the kids started back to home schooling (we took a 3 week break). Start up meetings begin this week for all the home school activities. We’ve got to sit down and decide what we will be involved in this year, so I can get all the paper work turned in on time. (martial arts, co-op, drama, gems, contenders, or flag football?) Definitely not all of those, but we may want to join a couple this year. I just don’t want it to be a scheduling nightmare!

My time is up! I’m off to plan menu/shopping lists so we can get to the store when it opens. Hubby wants to eat off the LA Weight Loss cookbook for awhile, so I’ve got to switch around a few meals and look up all the weights and amounts needed so I know what I need to buy.

I had some dental work done last week. NOT cosmetic, this was a must-do type of thing, otherwise I wouldn’t have gone. I detest people messing with my teeth! Feeling like a sheep led to slaughter I settled myself into the chair and waited for the shot to kick in. The little gal came in and started poking around, “Can you feel this? How about this? Not this either?” I’m thinking that it takes a certain type of personality to enjoy torturing patients under the guise of checking for numbness.

My tooth was numb and part of my nose was starting to feel numb as well. The nerve rattling drilling and messing began. Sigh. I counted tiles on the ceiling and wished to be any place but there. Half way through I started feeling pressure, shortly after, I could definitely feel my nerve being jangled and I made the dentist jump when she had to scrape me off the ceiling. This got me the question of “Eeeww, did you feel THAT? I’m sorry.” They decided that the shot was wearing off too quickly so they numbed it up again. While they waited for the 2nd round to kick in, they left me in the head down position and left the room.

Um….is anyone coming back? Been sitting here forever….my entire face is numb and my lower lip is now sitting in my lap as I drool like a carsick ferret. Hello? Then the paranoia kicks in where I am convinced that they are all hiding behind the door wall and mocking my pathetically vulnerable state. Footsteps in the hallway….oh great, now they’re bringing other patients by to view the spectacle. (Dental offices ALWAYS make me neurotic.) Finally the little masochistic gal shows up to poke and prod me again under the guise of checking the anesthetic. They gave me enough to drop a horse, my entire head feels like lead and my tooth only feels pressure…..let the cavital carnage resume! The nerve rattling commences and I involuntarily hit the ceiling again.

Now I’m not a professional or anything, but it is never good news when the mistress of torture looks perplexed and makes hemming and hawing noises. Apparently, I am one of the few people that are blessed with extra nerves that run randomly through my head for no apparent reason. Because they did not know where this rogue nerve was, they offered to numb my entire top jaw with a various assortment of pain inflicting devices. Ahhh, thanks, but no. It’s not going to happen. Nope, not a chance, my entire head feels like it weighs an extra 50 pounds, my jaw aches, my tooth is throbbing, no more needles. I brace and encourage them to finish before I lose what little numbness of the tooth I have left. They quickly finish up while I embed my fingers into the arm of the chair. I pay for the privilege of being tortured and try not to drool on the car interior.

About two hours after the horse drugs wore off of my head, I thought I was going to die! I’m not sure what they did in there, but the mistress of carnage was certainly having a good old time with her implements of pain! My mouth was messed up for a good 3-4 days after. The worst news is, I have one more appointment next week and they saved the “most invasive procedure” for last. Sigh, right now I can think of way more “pros” than “cons” to being toothless! Oh, AND I have been enjoying the lovely side effect that makes my filling a conduit directly to my nerve every time I drink anything cold. NICE, and for this, I paid. I’ll be over in the corner sipping tepid tap water and gnawing gingerly on a mini marshmallow.

Wow, it’s odd to have only one child in the house! It’s also harder to keep him entertained without the siblings around. The Gremlin is cracking me up! He keeps telling me stories about different things that happened on his trip. It’s so funny to see things through his eyes. The main events are lost on him, and instead he focuses on the smaller details of things. Apparently one of the little cousins reminded him of Cindy Lou Who (from Dr. Suess’, The Grinch) but when she babbled she sounded like an Ewok. His descriptions of things are interesting. I see a writer in our future!

The Gremlin has been talking non-stop since he got home too. I took him on a “date” for lunch yesterday (Hubby was working OT). He barely ate because he was animatedly telling me stories and his thoughts on everything and nothing. He is loving the extra attention. He told me that he is starting to miss his brother, but assured me that he doesn’t quite miss his sister yet…….maybe she should stay at Grandma’s a little while longer? Lol. …..He was just thinkin’

Hubby’s folks came down to drop off the Gremlin and stay with us for a week and it just FLEW by! They left yesterday with the Imp and Sarge. The Imp started getting “nervous” about going, but she was fine by morning so she left with them. Last night she called and had to talk to everyone multiple times to tell them goodnight and that she loved them. She is a bit homesick already. Hopefully once the travel days are done, she’ll settle in and be too busy to think about it. Next year is her year to be the “only child” so we thought this would be a good indicator if she was old enough. The Sarge is fine and will completely enjoy this chance to be spoiled rotten by the grandparents.

The Gremlin came home from grandma’s a changed man. He is our easy going child that doesn’t really care what is happening around him as long as he gets fed and isn’t hot. Other than that, not too many opinions on anything. Well, after a week of being an only child and having the grandparents encourage him to make choices so they could cater to his every whim, the boy has found his opinion! Now he will be joining in the power struggle that the other two have been locked in for years. Ahhh, we knew it would happen eventually, we just hoped to delay it for as LONG as possible!

The Gremlin spent a bit of time fishing with Gump and the cousins’ grandpa. They taught him to bait a hook and the other intricacies of fishing. The Gremlin likes to fish, but does not like decapitated worms. Trying to cajole the boy into baiting a hook like a man, they told him,”That’s the best part of fishing!” Later the Gremlin was shaking his head and mumbling about how weird old men were because they love to have worm guts all over their hands.