Monthly Archives: September 2006

And for your listening and viewing pleasure…… Hubby is a big fan of Wierd Al. He recently found this little number and has made it his theme song for the weekend.

This is for all the techies and computer geeks out there…..ENJOY!

Wierd Al’s, White and Nerdy

One top and a pair of shorts completed!

My daughter came out on Thursday, and declared that nothing fits and she would be living in her underwear, swim suit, or princess dress from now on. I went to her room, expecting to find all her clothes stuffed in a cupboard, wrapped in a damp towel, hiding at the bottom of her toy box, or stuffed under her doll to make the cradle “more comfy”. (You know, all the normal places for a 6 yr old to stash clothes when she doesn’t want to tend to them.) SURELY there had to be something the poor child could wear!

The room was clean, and she was correct…..most of her other clothes are tight, short, or showing her tummy when she raises her arms. (When did THIS happen!?) We dug through the sparse box of “clothes to grow into” from her closet, only to find she fit them ALL. Now she has 4 pair of winter pajamas to wear, but not many play clothes other than a few dresses. I pulled out the fabric for the outfits we were going to make 3 months ago……she had outgrown the pattern.

We made a quick dash to the store, found another pattern and some complimentary fabric that I can use to “expand” the original outfits (some of the fabric had already been cut) and we will be sewing all weekend. Hopefully we will complete a pair of capris, a skort, two tops, and a pair of shorts. All of which, can be mixed and matched with complimentary fabrics. (Oh, and if I have EXTRA time……I have been asked to make matching outfits for her doll, Jubilee.) I’m off!

We have recently been playing in our driveway again during school hours. (Gasp!) Now that the temperatures are less than 90 degrees we have ventured out to enjoy spelling drill four square, multiplication hop scotch, and sidewalk chalk cursive practice. We get lots of the shouldn’t-those-kids-be-in-school-looks, but so far we haven’t had any trouble. Today I decided to try to be more subtle with my lawn folk, so I took the children out only about 1/2 an hour before the bus kids were released. We made it through most of our (spelling word) ball game, when the bus children began to wander past with their backpacks. This resulted in two of the bus children joining our happy little lawn folk. We never did get to finish the Gremlin’s drills, but we ended up with an impromptu play date for a couple hours and the children made some new friends while I got to know one of the moms.

Right now we seem to be a source of curiosity in the neigborhood. One of our neigbors must be discussing us to others, because I bumped into another mom out with her stroller one morning, and she knew all about us. I’m not sure that’s a good thing…. We have been careful not to be noisy and we don’t disturb anyone. This is our first subdivision house and the first time that we feel like we are living in a fish bowl. “Look mommy, look at the lawn folks!”

Yesterday my darling children came to me to tell me they were bored. They were not whining, so it wasn’t an attitude thing…..yet. I reasoned that sometimes “bored” is just a restless feeling that needs a nudge to find something new to do. I suggested going ahead in their school reading, playing a board game, building with Roken Bok, or turning on music to dance to.

My little darlings were not bored, they were preparing to stage a coup until I allowed them to play video games. (They had played for a couple hours, the day before, so the answer was, “NO.”) At this, they began to cop some attitude and push harder. The boys even enlisted the help of the Imp to test for any possible gender-bias loop holes. The answer didn’t change. Not gaining ground, they pulled out the “mob whining” tactic to drive mom into letting them play just to keep her sanity. This kind of behavior is no longer acceptable in our home, it used to be, but that was before….

During our year in Texas, I met some incredible moms! They had radically different ideas about child rearing, marriage, and the role of a woman. Some of it was inspired (Biblical) and some was just common sense about things we just don’t stop to think about until our children are way off track. The topic of boredom came up and one mom shared this, “If children can not entertain themselves with the toys they have, perhaps it is because they need something of purpose to do. By blessing their homes and family, they can feel good about how they are spending their time, they are learning skills that they will need later, and they are curbing that selfish attitude that insists on being entertained….or else. Other times, it is just that they want to be near to talk. By working side by side with our children, we teach by example. We are available to them and we can gently discourage that selfishness by teaching them to identify when it has gone too far. Even a child as young as two years old can be taught the difference between asking for a new task and complaining with attitude. There is never a shortage of things to do in ANY household. .”

I retreated briefly to the closet and came forth ready for battle. To the oldest, I handed the laundry basket and told him to go out and switch loads and fold them. To the Gremlin, I handed a rag and cleaner and told him to go wipe down his bathroom and toilet. To the Imp, I handed a paper towel and Windex and had her spot mop the kitchen floor and entry way. I was nearby preparing dinner and able to chat with all of them while they completed their home blessings.

I’ve started to change how I respond to complaining. I discourage the attitude and encourage togetherness in both our play time and chore times. I enjoy my children much more because of these changes. They enjoy family time more than playing off by themselves or with each other……it is something we all look forward to. As a result of having many helpers yesterday, I was able to get dinner done a bit earlier, my list of “things to do” was shortened, and we had time to sit down and play several hands of cards after dinner TOGETHER, (and we’re looking forward to the Uno championship play offs tonight since it was a tie! )

Children should not be rewarded for complaining that they are bored, they grow into adults that feel they are justified to act out bad behavior if they aren’t entertained every single moment. That translates into many potential snares when put into the context of junior’s marriage, job, and family life. Please reconsider before you jump up to entertain or take your children for an outing when they COMPLAIN. Scheduling a healthy dose of family activities and balancing responsibilities to even the smallest family members is a better option than jumping up to entertain them at the slightest sign of discontent.

Proverbs 16:3 Commit thy works unto the Lord, and thy thoughts shall be established.
Proverbs 20:11 Even a child is known by his doings, whether his work be pure, and whether it be right.

Last night, I was able to attend a home school Mom’s Meeting. I haven’t done anything with the group yet, so I didn’t really know anyone. This has become the norm since we’ve moved twice in less than 2 years…. the starting over. I know the routine, and even though it always pushes me outside my comfort zone, it has resulted in some cherished, though brief friendships along the way. Times like these, always make me feel slightly homesick for my friends that have known me for years and have experienced marriage, births, and parenting moments together. We currently live in a tourist town with lots of civilian contract and military families. They understand that everything is based on a two year assignment, it’s a different feel.

Once there, I was introduced to a sea of faces. As women do, the always active corner of my brain, was constantly sizing up moms. (She looks frazzled, she must have a toddler. That one looks exhausted….she must have a newer baby. She looks calm and pulled together, she must have older children. That one has perfectly pressed clothes, make up, and matching jewelry….her kids must be in high school or college.) I found a woman that looked like she probably had kids the age of mine. It’s a mom thing….you can just tell by stress level and how they dress. I struck up a conversation. She had 3 kids the same ages as mine and a toddler to boot. She’s using Sonlight and is on the same core level. Her two oldest are girls and her youngest are boys, so they have the flip of our brood. It’s odd how you can spot things like that in a crowd.

As I listened to the Bible Study and watched the other moms, I realized that I felt like a little kid pretending to be a grown up. I hoped that they wouldn’t discover that I worry when I should have faith, I get frustrated, I don’t have all the answers. I wondered if all moms felt that way. I act like I know what I’m doing, but inside I still feel awkward. My sisters both looked like they knew what they were doing and had it all together in their 30’s. I wonder if they really did? Maybe they just did what worked and stuck to the routines. I keep wondering if I will ever arrive at a comfortable spot where I don’t feel like I’m pretending to be a grown up anymore, where I have more answers than doubts, and where I don’t feel like there is so much I still don’t know. Maybe it never gets that way. Perhaps we all just do our best to follow God and try to learn and touch lives as we go. The younger moms may look to us thinking we have arrived, while we look at the more experienced moms trying to sift through their wisdom as we compare it to Scripture. That has been on my mind lately. Insights and thoughts are always welcomed.

Mom and dad have asked for a good picture of the 5 of us for a project they are working on. (GROAN.) I had a family portrait taken once for a church directory 4 years ago, but they want something current. I’m not one of these moms that gets pictures done of my kids every year. I think the last ones were 2 years ago……maybe 3…..ok, possibly 4 years. (I just looked and she had on a toddler dress.)

We like to take digital pictures here and there, but usually of the children and not the whole group of us. Most pictures are one child at a time to avoid having the two boys wrestling, making rabbit ears, looking bored, or making faces. My daughter loves pictures and will smile and pose sweetly by the hours if asked. We have a lot of pictures of her. For the boys, we have 1/2 a head, or a foot, a blur in front of trees, or a shot of the big brother “hugging” the little brother in what looks suspiciously like a choke hold from Takwondo.

I’ve only attempted to get all 3 kids into the same professional picture ONCE. My middle child Vulcan death gripped his brother, my daughter almost toppled off the platform when the rolling back dropped scared her, and my oldest plastered this fake grin on and spoke through his teeth, like Peewee Herman, the entire time. It was not an attractive thing. I don’t do portrait studios, anymore. Occasionally I am tempted, but then I think better of it, and life continues on blissfully.

I’ve always detested picture day at school. They dressed me up in more ruffles and cuteness than any child should have to endure, and then expected me to stay clean and un-rumpled for 2-4 hours. (RIGHT, that’s going to happen! It was always the day of our big recess soccer game or field hockey against the older kids.) As I got older, my mom gave up the ruffles and dressed me in something that would hide the dirt. This has carried over for me as a mom, I like to catch my kids in shots that are true to their personality. Group shots that are posed, just don’t do that.

I have crashed and burned miserably for the “milestones in pictures” award, so I ended up sending mom a slightly posed picture of the entire family that was just…….well…….ok. I hope they aren’t planning to immortalize us for anyone publicly. But it was one of the few we had of all of us together, where someone wasn’t wrestling, squirming, or fussing. Perhaps it’s time to set up appointments at Walmart……every 4 years isn’t excessive…..right!? Sigh.