Monthly Archives: May 2006

Recently, a friend told me (through unmasked disdain) that she believed, no KNEW that God did not intend women to be slaves to our husbands. That I was not living the way God intended because men and women were to be equals. That the men were to love us as Christ loves the Church, and Christ never intended women to be servants of their man. This is not the 1st time I have had this thrown at me, but these comments are usually tossed out at a time when it would be rude or inappropriate to sit down and explain my position at length.

First off, I did not start out with a very serving heart toward my husband. I was a bit rebellious towards my father, so why would I cow-tow to any other man? It was through getting to know my Heavenly Father and God bringing a series of mature Christian women into my life, that my views began to soften and change. I watched their marriages and lives and tried to figure out what made them special. I also asked lots of questions and dug through my Bible and concordance when things went badly. I have fought my husband tooth and nail and I have submitted to him. From the benefit of both perspectives, serving your man is more of a blessing than having the power. My man may not be perfect, but neither am I, and I feel so blessed that God has enough grace to forgive us both!

In 1John 13:1-17, Jesus set an example of how He wanted us to behave toward one another. He donned the towel of the lowest servant and washed His disciple’s feet. These were His friends, not even His family! None of the disciples wanted to do that job, it was lowly and nasty. But Christ had an example to set for us. He took on the most mundane task that was assigned to the lowest caste of servant in the household. After completing the task, He told the disciples that they need to serve each other because none are greater than their Maker and they should find happiness in the opportunity to follow His example.

As the Son of God, Jesus NEVER went around wagging His finger in the air and demanding that He be respected, honored, or lauded. Why do we as women think that this is acceptable behavior coming from ourselves or our sisters?

I have had so many women tell me that if their man was just different or treated them better, THEN they might be more likely to serve. Again, back to 1John 13:17, Jesus did not hesitate to wash the feet of Judas. He knew what was coming and He still served Judas. Girls, treatment by your husband should not determine your obedience to God!

“The more I give, the more he expects! He’s a grown man he can do it for himself!” This is another protest I hear often. (The more God gives us, the more we stomp our feet and expect more too.) This is not an excuse for not serving your man. We are called to serve them in everything. That includes our hair cuts, clothing, and activities. Everything that we do should be with the goal to please or simplify our man’s life and thus bring glory to God by our obedience. This is God’s command for us, it is not a suggestion. It is repeated more than once in scripture, which is God’s way of letting us know this is important and we need to pay attention. If your husband is not a Christian or is saved but behaving badly, this can be a means of softening his heart towards the things of the Lord. God can’t use us if we are being contentious towards our man.

Ephesians 5:24 Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.

1Peter 3:1 Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives

Finally, if you are seeking to obey God through submitting and serving your man, God will know your heart. During the adventures of Abraham and Sarah, Abraham did not always make the best choices. Abraham feared the men would kill him to take his beautiful wife, so he told Sarah to say she was his sister. Sarah did as he told her and God watched out for her. The king took her to be in his harem, but God did not allow him to touch her. Instead he sent a dream to the king with a warning and the king returned her unharmed. (Genesis 20:1-28) Even if your man is making bad choices, you are called to serve and obey him. We may respectfully make our opinion known, but we may not nag them to get our own way. It is God’s job to bring them around, but our job to obey. If you fear that what he is asking you to do is sinful, pray about it and ask God to govern the situation. God can turn around the most impossible situation and work it out for good. (Genesis 50:20)

When we, as women, embrace the role that God intended for us, we can cause our man to rise to his full potential. We reap blessings for obeying God. We soften hearts to be more receptive to the Lord. We train our daughters to be more in tune to God because they have learned to listen to their fathers and their husbands. Our sons see what it means to take responsibility of the household as they watch their daddy. Yes, there will be exceptions to serving, but they are far fewer than we would like to believe. This isn’t an issue where it may be fine for one wife, but not acceptable to another wife. God didn’t ask us to obey if we felt like it or if it worked for us. He told us to obey and submit to our man out of our love for Him, our Creator.

Our nest feels empty and a little sad without our guests. The Imp came bounding out looking for G’pa this morning, and then tried to convince us that they had just gone for a “little” drive, but would be back for lunch. We had such a fun time with them. We went to the kid movie, “Over the Hedge”. It was cute and the kids loved it. We ate ice cream for dinner one night, played put-put golf (g’ma was the champion), watched old home movies, swam, and grilled. We tried to do the beach, but it was WAY too crowded! We’ll have to do that next time.

All of our weary travelers made it in last night. Hubby has been gone for the week on business, so he flew in from Texas. His parents arrived 15 minutes later after their two-day drive from Michigan. It is WONDERFUL to have everyone together again! We’ll be spending lots of time swimming, site seeing, and grilling Looks like a fun filled weekend!

We are scrambling to get ready for company this week. Hubby’s folks are coming down to visit for a few days. They will be our 1st guests here, and we are pretty excited. The Man Cave has air conditioning and a path that weaves through the boxes so we can run through the garage like lab rats in a maze! I found an inexpensive vinyl table cloth to cover our battered kitchen table. The owner left some furniture, so we have a “weather proof” table outside with our old patio chairs. The house is clean and uncluttered. The children have worked a little ahead to compensate for grandparent time, during which schedules are thrown to the wind and much feasting and missed curfews become the norm. Cookies have been made and stashed, although they may not make it since they turned out so yummy. All is well at Castle Gidcumb!

It’s official! Our Michigan house sold and the new owners took over today! (Just a few days before our next mortgage payment was due, too.) God has been so good to us through all of our adventures. Now that chapter is completely closed, our stuff is moved and our home is sold. The next time we go to Michigan, it will be as visitors to our parents, not to fix, paint, or further work on our home. The kids and I have been praying for about a year, every single day, 3-4 times per day. What a lesson in persistence and calling out to God! The children are very excited to tell everyone how God answered their prayers. We are so blessed!

I feel like we are in a period of rest. We are really enjoying being together as a family, having room to spread out a bit, and to settle and nest has been Wonderful! We are puzzled that God didn’t allow us to buy a house at this time. Because of this we both have a feeling this season will be temporary. Hurricane season is coming, the housing market is slow down here, and there are so many variables with hubby’s job. We hope to be here for a couple years at least, but are staying open to God’s calling. This feels like it is our season of rest and strengthening before the next storm.

Ok, I’ve moved twice in 14 months, adjusted to southern culture vs. the more blunt northern manners, went from snow to 109 degree desert conditions and now to tropical jungle weather with humidity as high as the temp! We’ve been good sports, we have made the best of all our circumstances, but now I have one question, “How does one exist peaceably with the bugs!?”

I’m not talking the mass amount of mosquitoes that hover just outside my door waiting to have a feeding frenzy on any family member that sets foot in the yard. We are willing to spray and itch…..we ARE reasonable people. My big problem of late, is FIRE ANTS. We treated one mound, but they are EVERYWHERE! I don’t think you can treat your whole yard, and if you can, what are the consequences of the chemicals to pets, local lizard populations, water supplies, and small children that saw the horse eat grass so they tried to do the same?

My planter has become an ant resort complex, complete with pool access since they have taken over a corner of the deck and swarm anyone who gets too close. This week, when I went to pick up my garbage can which had blown into the grass I made note that I was at least 4 ft. away from any visible ant source. I quickly grabbed my can and got on the pavement. My foot started stinging and I looked down to find a swarm on my foot. I have 4-6 bites, which is good, considering I’ve heard they can do a whole lot worse! My foot puffed up a bit, but I do not seem to be highly allergic (yet). The Imp (daughter) has a bite on her foot from helping with the gardening and she was wearing shoes! If anyone has experience or ideas on how to deal with fire ants, please share! (We are dealing with a reddish brown variety that closely resembles the little sugar ants you see in the northern states.)